THIS JERK SAYS

Hey there, everypeoples! After a few long months of movielessness (there was really nothing I was just chomping at the bit to see, and I couldn’t really justify plunking down 9 bucks for movies that I knew were going to suck), I finally got around to hitting the theaters in time for the much-anticiptated James Bond sequel Quantum of Solace. So, will this one leave you shaken or stirred? (that…sounded better in my head. Sorry)

PLOT:

After capturing that guy from the very last scene in Casino Royale, Bond and company learn about the existence of a massive conspiracy that’s infiltrated even their own organization (they’re never actually named, but fans of the series should recognize it as the supervillain group SPECTRE). Bond tracks down potential leads to find out who’s behind the group, and finds himself getting caught up in their plot to exploit a third-world country, while at the same time being distrusted by his own allies, trying to get himself over the emotional damage done to him by the girl from the first movie, and violencing the hell out of anyone in his way.

STYLE:

Like the last movie, this one runs a lot closer to the Bourne movies than the classic 007 series, and every time it does harken back to the old series, it feels like it’s done more out of obligation than choice. Even the standard trippy opening credits with silhouetted naked women and guns shooting out pure style feels a little forced. Also, is anyone else completely sick of the shaky-camera effect in every fight scene/chase scene/pleasant breakfast scene in action movies these days?

ACTING:

Daniel Craig does a great stone-faced, grim ‘n’ gritty sort of deal, but then when he lets out one of those trademark cringe-inducing James Bond double entendres, it’s just kind of awkward. I guess it works for the pseudo-realistic take on the series they’re doing, but if you’re expecting him to be as suave as Connery or Moore, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Not helping matters is Olga Kurylenko’s run as the Bond-girl du jour, Camille–though I imagine that has slightly more to do with her impenetrable accent than her actual acting skill. Judi Dench is fun to watch as the no-nonsense M, but gets a little repetitive when her only emotional state is ‘authoritative and disapproving.’ Mathieu Amalric is okay as the weasely villain Dominic Greene, and his inherent non-threatening demeanor is off-set by Joaquin Cosio as the big Saddam-esque General Madrano.

Overall, nobody’s performance is flat-out bad, but there’s also nothing that’s going to just blow you away.

ACTION:

There are a few really energetic chases/shoot-outs on foot and on wheels, as well as a few down-and-dirty brawls and an aerial dogfight, but almost all of it is ruined by the constantly shaking camera. It’s a real shame, too, because you can tell that there was some good work that went into the fight choreography.

ROMANCE/T&A:

Since a lot of this movie’s subplot involved Bond trying to get over the tragic death of his girl from Casino and finding the people behind it (and frankly, if I were boinking someone as gorgeous as Eva Green and she died, I’d be more than a little miffed about it myself) there’s not a whole lot of sparks between Bond and Camille. They mainly just compare emotional damage for a few scenes and then have an awkward kiss at the end.

That doesn’t mean James isn’t up to his usual womanizing shenanigans, though. He does manage to get a quick fling in with a female agent, the painfully-named ‘Strawberry Fields,’ who is quite nice to look at and I honestly hoped would have gotten more screen-time.

GRIPES:

First and foremost, there’s a good twenty minutes or so where the plot doesn’t really go anywhere. There seemed to be just a little too much of Bond and/or the other MI-6 folks just sort of mucking about while waiting for the plot to advance.

Moreover, I was really disappointed by the big reveal of the villainous conspiracy’s identity and their intentions. I get that they’re trying to make it topical or whatever, but come on–has there been a single spy thriller in the last eight years where the villain hasn’t been a bunch of evil rich white people out to make more money? Rather than have them come up with something world-threatening or at least interesting to watch, it seems most Hollywood writers are just content to say “multi-national corporation” and call it a day.

Never mind the blatant staggering hypocrisy of anyone in Hollywood saying anything bad about capitalism (*coughCLOONEYcoughGLOVERcough*), at this point it’s hackneyed and even just lazy. In the remake of The Manchurian Candidate, the plot to install a brainwashed Communist pawn in the White House is changed to what? An evil corporation. Who engineered the assassination and framed Marky Mark in the godawful Shooter? An evil corporation. Who murdered Ralph Fiennes’ wife in The Constant Gardener? An evil corporation. Shit, it’s even played out in fantasy/scifi fluff like Star Wars (the Trade Federation) and Pirates of the Caribbean (the East India Company). So yeah, the re-launch of SPECTRE, the evil anti-spy organization out to throw the world into chaos, and what do we get? An evil corporation. YAWN.

OVERALL:

On the whole, Quantum of Solace feels more like an awkward epilogue to Casino Royale. There’s nothing offensively bad about it, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it accomplishes anything. I was entertained, but was honestly hoping it would start heading into the more familiar Bond territory.

If you liked the first movie, you’ll probably like this one. It’s a little bit of a step down, but nothing so much as to turn you off completely. If you weren’t a fan, Quantum isn’t going to change your mind.

Despite my nitpicking, overall, this jerk’s thumb…is UP.

(Also, there’s a new trailer for Watchmen before the movie. That alone is worth the price of admission)